(no subject)

Wnet through my spam folder today, since it's been about a month since I emptied it. Today, being more bored than usual, I present today's gleanings:

First, there was the message from "Service@bankofamer" telling me to "Update your informations". Un-hunh. How stupid do they think I am? No, don't answer that.

Then there were the names:

Mitzi See Mitzi. Mitzi ditzy. Run Mitzi, run.
Hacienda O. Mervin House O'Mervin? As in the Sheriff of Rottingham?
The Prospector Um, yeah. For what?
Teri W. Black Sounds like a porn star.
VGWDLDWCBLGFK How do you do? I'm Mxyztplk. Nice to meet you.
Fredericka Shanita
Tamika Marquez
Dana Reyna
Bobbie Minor More porn stars. Or perhaps prostitutes.
Marquis Donne Apparently not the Marquis de Sade.
Kristi Bond James Bond's younger sister, perhaps.
Tanzi Roselli Porn star or Pre-Raphaelite poet?
Norbert Hagrid's dragon has an email address? Who knew?
Francesca I. Child Francesca, I Woman.
Lolita G. Grisham An underage prostitute by night, an author of crime fiction by day.
Honour Engebretson Parents, please don't do this to your kids.
Marina Eugenia This either.
Nobody At least they're honest.

Finally, there were the subjects:

Created for Men like you
wanna look like a rich guy?
Become a Healthy Man
Uh, people....I'm a *girl*, thankyewverymuch!

increased organ mass
I'd like a bigger spleen, please.

Shoot five times as much
I'm not one for guns, but thanks for the help, anyway. Maybe you should be talking to the NRA.

what every woman has been looking for
A babysitter? A self-cleaning apartment/home/whatever? Someone to take out the trash?

Are You Ready ?
For what ?

Is it always that much?
No, sometimes it's more.

You don't like blind dates ?
Never been on one, actually.

she will probably put out
I love how they hedge their bets, here.

valium absurd
valium absurd, yes. naproxen absurd, too. me write short sentences. me sound like idiot.

Rock Solid
My discovery
I can't tell if they're trying to sell me sex or stocks, here.

Test -- do not open
I wonder how many people opened it anyway?

And finally, some good advice:

Don't go round the bend